


29 Times Satan Acted Bored And 1 Time He Did Not

by iamkathastrophe



Series: Shattered Lucain Pieces [4]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: 30 days challenge, Angst, Domestic, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Ship, dorky, dorky adventures, stupid satan
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-05
Updated: 2018-05-05
Packaged: 2019-04-18 21:02:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 2,200
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14221740
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iamkathastrophe/pseuds/iamkathastrophe
Summary: Cain and Lucifer, Lucifer and Cain, a ship I came up with soullesssam, and one that deserves much more love than it currently does, so here, have some tiny, bite-sized Lucain (as this is the name of the ship) scenes for your enjoyment <3My Tumblr: https://iamkathastrophe.tumblr.com/soullesssam: https://archiveofourown.org/users/soulllesssam/pseuds/soulllesssamsollesssam's Tumblr: https://osnaart.tumblr.com/





	1. A PHOTO

**Author's Note:**

> I actually made an illustration for this one <3 You can find it here:  
> https://iamkathastrophe.tumblr.com/post/172526413892/i-i-made-a-ship-you-know-that-feeling-when-you

“You… want to do what, again?” Lucifer asks with his eyebrows arched, blue eyes glued to an ugly box on the wooden table between them.  
            “Take a picture,” Cain repeats himself, probably for the fifth time already, but Lucifer doesn’t care. This idea is so… normal it’s nearly surreal. “With a Polaroid camera, the one here.”  
            Lucifer nods slowly. “And you want to do it… why?”  
            “Because that’s what couples on dates do. We’re a couple. In a park. On a date. Now take the damn thing, would you?”  
            “Uhm.” Lucifer licks his lips. “Don’t get me wrong, you’re adorable and all, but the last time I’ve checked, that’s what human couples do. I’m an archangel, you’re a Knight of Hell. And you dragged me out of my perfectly safe and very hidden place, out into the woods, because you want to take a picture with a Polaroid camera?”  
            Cain looks Lucifer into eyes, and replies, his voice dead serious. “Yes.”  
            There’s a long moment of silence before Lucifer just grabs the camera. “Alright, c’me here.”


	2. A MILKSHAKE

“Cain, this is getting ridiculous,” Lucifer scowls from his seat. This, what they are doing, is insane. Plain, and simple, insane. Trying to kill each other in the subway seems saner in comparison to this. Even Cain’s tweed suit seems saner. 

            “Luce,” Cain says, irritation slowly seeping into his voice. “For the last time, we’re just having a milkshake.”

            Lucifer nodded, like Cain’s comment was spot-on. Then, as if to make his point even more clear, he pointed at the rest of the cafe with his chin. Humans. Humans everywhere; sipping fancy coffees from cups, and colourful milkshakes from tall glasses, eating ice cream from glass cups and eating biscuits from little bright-yellow plates. There are human on every square foot of this place, while the Devil and the Knight of Hell drink a milkshake. 

            Since when did Lucifer’s life become a poor parody of a sitcom? Oh, right, since he’s decided that teaming up with Cain was a good idea. And when his human vessel’s cravings got the best of him. And when…

            “Luce?” Cain is looking at him with one of his dark eyebrows arched. Does Lucifer really have a choice in this matter at this point? If he wants his plan to succeed, he needs Cain.

            “Fine, fine.” Lucifer rolls his eyes, taking a sip from the glass and, surprisingly, he can actually taste it. Well, not  _ actually _ taste it, but he can sense that it’s sweet. Disgustingly sweet, actually.

            Lucifer’s blue eyes narrow. “Did you put here so much sugar on purpose?” he wants to know.

            Cain shrugs nonchalantly. “Well, I can’t exactly get diabetes, can I?”

            “Cheesy.”


	3. A MORNING

Archangels, or angels, don’t have to sleep. And neither do demons or Knights of Hell. The bodies they occupy run on either angelic or demonic powers; it doesn’t need food, it doesn’t need water, it doesn’t need sleep. They could just sit in one place for a century, and the only thing that would happen would be their clothes slowly falling apart. This is one of the things that make angels, and even demons, superior to humans. The lack of those pathetic needs is what makes them better.

            And yet, despite that, when the clock strikes eleven, Cain goes to bed.

            He maintains this routine as often as he can; the only moments when he doesn’t do that is when Lucifer needs him, out in the field during the night. Of course, if he doesn’t get his sleep, Cain becomes more grumpy than he usually does, but Lucifer can ignore that. But he can’t ignore spending good seven hours a day in the same room with someone unconscious.

            “Why do you do that?” Lucifer asks one evening, when Cain walks across the small motel room in ridiculous plaid pyjama pants. “Why do you sleep every night? You don’t need that.”

            Cain slowly blinks, turning his eyes at Lucifer. “Surprisingly, I’m aware. I just enjoy it.”

            “You enjoy it?” Lucifer repeats. 

            “Well, I don’t have to listen to you for a few hours, so I’d call it a pretty sweet deal,” Cain teases as he gets into the bed, pulling the covers over himself. “Some demons like to eat, other like sex, I like to sleep.” He shrugs, lying his head back on the pillow. “There’s enough space, though, you can get in once you change your mind.”

            Lucifer just huffs at it, clearly showing his offence. But it isn’t two hours before he’s kicking his shoes off and climbing into the bed by Cain’s side, muttering curses under his breath. He wouldn’t fall asleep anyway, would he?

            The next morning, Cain is pleasantly surprised to see that the Devil himself definitely is one of the “five more minutes” kind.


	4. A PICNIC

This day… isn’t terrible, Lucifer thinks. Not that he often brothers his head with such tiny periods of time as a human day, or something as irrelevant as the weather. But he cannot deny, this day isn’t all that terrible. The sun is shining, the air is warming up after winter, it’s quite and overall, not that bad. If it wasn’t for Cain’s another stupid idea, that is.

            Lucifer looked at Cain with his eyes squinched, watched the bearer of the Mark, the Father of Murder, the trainer of the Knights of Hell, Lucifer watched him sit on a blanket and taking food out of a picnic basket. 

            “Are you planning on joining me anytime soon?” Cain finally asks, pulling out sandwiches and setting them down next to neatly peeled apples.

            “Maybe in a while, when I stop questioning your sanity,” Lucifer replies smoothly, still leaning against one of the trees. “Why am I here again?”

            Cain inhales and exhales slowly. Then he pulls on a, frankly, pretty terrifying smile, and raises his blue eyes up to Lucifer. “Let me explain this to you, again,” his voice was nearly trembling with the hold-back anger. “Remember how you tricked me into killing my own brother?”

            “Uh-huh.”

            “And then kept me in Hell to train your Knights?”

            “Yeah.”

            “And then, if I remember correctly, I died?”

            “I recall.”

            “Well.” Cain gestures over the picnic blanket. “You agreed to do thirty things with me to, as you named it, repay me for all the wrongs and make things right.”

            Lucifer slowly nods. “And that means that I’m supposed to sit down and eat the goddamn sandwich?”

            “See?” Cain sends him a sweet smile. “You learn.”


	5. BAKING

“Put more sugar in.”

“No, there’s already too much.”

“Maybe for you, I’m telling you, put more sugar in.”

“It’ll be just sugar if we add any more!”

Lucifer raises both of his eyebrows, resting his hands on his hips and giving Cain a very long, a very judging look. It’s been over half an hour of this ridiculous idea of Cain’s, and they haven’t even moved as far as to finish making the dough. Well, the dough was Cain’s job. Lucifer, the Archangel, got to peel the apples.

They’ve been bickering back and forth throughout the whole process of making a pie; the next thing of Cain’s seemingly never-ending list of causing Lucifer mental suffering. He didn’t even let Lucifer use his grace; he gave him a peeler and a punch of apples and told him to do the work like a human. That’s just insulting.

“I don’t think you realize I’m an angel, Cain,” Lucifer finally huffs, turning back to peeling the last apple. The end is so close, yet still so far.

Cain groans. “I’ve been aware that you’re one for a while, thank you very much. If you feel that you need to point out your…”

“You don’t understand.” Lucifer throws the fruit into the bowl. “I’m an  _ angel _ . This all,” he waves over at the ingredients spread over the table, as well as the dough Cain is making, “I can’t taste it unless it has a lot of sugar, and you know that.”

“You… can’t taste it?” Cain’s eyes go a little wide.

“No… you didn’t know?”

“Uh, no… I thought it’s just a preference.”

Lucifer snorts. “Oh, honey, sometimes you’re so adorable. Now put more sugar.”

Cain does.


	6. ICE SKATING

“Come on, Luce, it’s not that difficult.”

Lucifer’s legs shake as he holds tightly to the wall, his breathing uncomfortably shallow. It shouldn’t be like this, he shouldn’t feel so… so threatened and so unsure of his actions. Hell, he should be better than every single of those hairless apes passing him one by one. And he surely shouldn’t be getting those encouraging looks from Cain like he’s a clueless fledgeling still. 

Cain must have had enough waiting; he slides closer to Lucifer, his moves graceful and elegant like he spent his entire life on this stupid activity. He lies a gentle hand on Lucifer’s shoulder and the Archangel nearly flinches away. He would, he really would, if it wasn’t for the fact that if he lets go of this very wall, he will lose balance.

“Luce,” Cain tells him. “Come on, let go. I’ll keep you up.”

“Shut your face before I make you, Candy-Cain,” Lucifer hums to him sweetly through clenched teeth. He’s not letting go, he’s not embarrassing himself in front of humans. 

With a roll of his eyes, Cain slides his hand from Lucifer’s shoulder to his back, pressing at it firmly with a clear indication that he expects Lucifer to let go. “Come on, love, I won’t let you fall.”

“Why are we even ice skating?!” Lucifer huffs out with a nervous note in his voice, rapidly grabbing Cain as his skates slide across the ragged ice. 

Cain chuckles softly at that, a sound that Lucifer usually hears gladly. Now he just wants to punch the Knight in the face. “Because I enjoy it,” Cain reminds him, again. “And you agreed,” he adds, when some child rushes by them. “It’s not that difficult.”

“It’s not that difficult,” Lucifer mocks Cain’s tone, but he lets Cain help him across the ice nevertheless. “You know what also wouldn’t be difficult?”

“What?”

“Disintegrating you.”

Cain laughs again. This time it’s quite adorable. “I bet, but we can do this whole disintegrating thing some other time.

In one smooth motion, Cain dashes forward a little, spins around and stops right in front of Lucifer. He reaches for both of his hands and holds them tightly. “Come on, now. It shouldn’t be a problem for an ancient being like you.” 

Lucifer just gives a loud sigh as he tries to follow Cain’s instructions. This man will be the death of him.


	7. A WEDDING

Lucifer shifts on his feet and tugs at the sleeve of his jacket, looking at his reflection in the mirror. His hair isn’t a mess for once, and his clothes aren’t all kind of crumpled up. He wouldn’t say he cares much for physical appearance, after all the thing he sees in the mirror is merely a vessel. Or at least it used to be; now it’s a flesh prison he’s trapped in, one he can’t leave and is damned to spend the rest of his existence in. He should be happy that at least it’s a pretty one. 

            He breathes out and rubs his face tiredly and he turns around to leave the room. It’s been a week and Cain keeps insisting on his stupid ideas like there isn’t anything better they could be wasting their time on. Like there aren’t things that ought to be done, businesses to be finished. Well, at the very least Lucifer supposes that he owes Cain these small things after all he’s done to the man; turning him into a Knight and whatnot. 

            With one smooth motion, Lucifer pushes the door to the chapel open and steps inside, the heels of his shoes knocking against the cold stone floor. “Let’s be over with it already,” he says loudly to Cain standing by the altar. “I feel watched.”

            Cain chuckles softly, as he reaches up to his tie to straighten it up. “I thought that your father isn’t here.”

            “He’s not. I still feel watched.” Lucifer stands in front of him. “If you  _ really  _ want to do this, did we really have to do this here? Wouldn’t, I don’t know, any other place enough?”

            “I wanted to do this properly,” Cain admits, taking Lucifer’s hands into his and squeezing them tightly. 

            Lucifer can’t help a snort. “You want to marry Satan, and you’re talking about doing this  _ properly _ ? Hell, Cain, why don’t you let me wear a white dress and call in my brothers if you want to do this  _ properly _ ?”

            Cain just rolls his eyes and makes a sour face at that. “Don’t call yourself that, neither of us even likes it.” He sighs. “And you really could stop acting like you don’t care about anything for five minutes, today, just for me. It’s symbolic, but it’s important to me.” 

            “Fine, fine, Candy-Cain. C’mon, let’s just do it.”

            “I know you don’t like this idea,” Cain admits. “So…” he looks up into Lucifer’s eyes. “Just promise me that you will never leave me again.” 

            Lucifer clenches his jaws, his ribs tightening around his heart and lungs uncomfortably. “I promise.”


End file.
